I Like this Cat
How Wild things teach us how to love
I may have mentioned to a few folks that I had the honor of being adopted midsummer by a feral cat who frequented my garden. My Domestic Partner who is respectfully fearful of animals in general had taken to the specific boundary of feeding and watering said cat outside. Neither seemed to need any other interaction.
They both seemed to enjoy the safe distance that wildness afforded us all. Daily Domestic Partner she would put down food and water and KUJI CAT who she affectionately named kept the yard free of rodents, birds and other cats who did not have clearance to enter.
By early Fall, KUJI CAT sat next to me whenever I would linger, rubbing against my leg, purring loudly and sitting next to the adopted dog and allowing the canine to share her preferred cat treats when she was done eating.
By early Winter, KUJI CAT’s health seemed to decline, her skin was dry. Itchy scaly patches of skin were visible. Tufts of cat hair were noticeably present everywhere. I was considering a trip to the vet if I could figure out how to catch the cat and get it in a crate. The cat’s nose was wet, eyes a bit gooey. Belly swelled as if he were pregnant, even though we had assumed at least the genitalia was decidely male. Conundrums for sure. KUJI CAT beckoned loudly at the doors both front and back to come inside.
Intolerant of the cold and wanting inside and cuddles and urging me to pet his head, scratch the ear lobes, her back and to nestle in the dog’s bed or my chair or in a warm sunny spot on the bookshelf or near any heat register.
Relegated to an unheated side porch; I let the cat in for the night. I moved the food dish inside and when the temperatures dropped below freezing and the water froze in the bowl. I fashioned a litter box, got a small heater and within a day or so… KUJI CAT was trained and had no desire to go outside at all much less even on a brief return to the wild. Domesticated, I felt I deserved a cameo on National Geographic.
As long as “WE” as in me the cat and the adopted dog were alone together we could enjoy our daily routine and KUJI CAT traveled from the kitchen, my writing studio as she slipped out the door in to the house from the side porch after first checking that Domestic Partner had left the house and was off to work.
Domestic Partner felt I had crossed a boundary and broken a trust of no cats in the house and then KUJI CAT seemed to display what she believed were demonic qualities and her true disdain for me willfully aiding and abetting a cat was exposed. Clearly, I must have been possessed that I had deliberately disobeyed and was bound and determined to “sneak “the extramarital feline inside the house against orders as soon as she exited from the front door well before dawn each morning.
I had no energy to fight, I felt unjustly accused and in my own way there was no dilemma, no choices I needed to make. I had to listen to them both and listen to my heart.
Peace invites us even me to be still and listen. Called away on business for a few days took me out of the equation and I came home fully expecting that KUJI CAT and Domestic Partner would find their way best without me.
This cat, like many “cat people” say chose me and me not him.
This cat gives me so much peace, makes such calm and sits quietly in the sun nestles, nestles, nestles among the books on his favorite shelf and squints at me and closes his eyes and asks me to turn back to writing and praying and gazing.
We both sit as the sun passes from window and window and write, write, and write long awaited words flowing out as he sleeps. Sheltered from the cold and living in the out of doors, wildness fades. KUJI CAT finds rest and gives me rest and is my muse. I like this cat.
This cat likes Pam Gregory the very wise astrologer and curiously is attracted to the sound of her voice. He sits under my desk while she speaks. Elevating the vibration to our heart space. This is when KUJI CAT chose the moments to direct me to stay focused and give a good scratch for all the itchy places.
I am now thoroughly house broken and well trained.
Peace invites us, even me to be still and listen. Called away for a few days on business took me out of the equation and I came home fully expecting that KUJI CAT and Domestic Partner would finally find their way best without me. I asked no questions, and no lies were required. We would learn as did I a way to be our best selves.
Domestic Partner reminded me quite spontaneously that I had meant no harm in sheltering and that KUJI CAT only saw and felt what she saw in me. No space for jealously or envy or harm. She had initiated the feeding of the cat and of course had no control over the next right steps and what we all might learn.
Feral cat who she fed and assigned guard kitty chores only liked me. Feeling unwell and needing a kind and benevolent caregiver can make one soften their resolve towards independence and grumpiness. Facing fear is an inside job. No explanation was required. To feel at home, she could not have a cat in the house. Domestic partnerships are fragile at best. Too cold outside and no room inside; picking a fight seemed like the only option when in fact, we always have the choice to love. Wild lions and even domesticated bulls can’t be tamed. We all need the right environment to thrive and be happy and warm and cuddled on our own terms. We all know something about that!
Domestic Partner asked me on my return if would I miss KUJI CAT if she found her a new loving home that would treat her well. I said yes, I could miss KUJI CAT and feel two things at once and let the wild thing go. I wanted Domestic Partner and KUJI CAT both to feel at home. There was no forced choice option. I wanted to feel good too! The very next day, she got a carrier and made some calls and drove around to see who had shelter, room, and space in their heart for a proper home for KUJI CAT. There are helpers everywhere. We all are grateful for KUJI CAT in showing us all how to love.
NOTES
https://www.thenextstep.uk.com/youtube-videos/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Where_the_Wild_Things_Are
https://jacqueline-laughlin.medium.com/what-did-you-give-up-for-lent-a6aef14f6782
